Ozzie v. M.

Even as I know White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen won’t be fired for calling Sun-Times man Mariotti a fag (trust me), I also have this to say: If he is fired for anything but losing ball games, I promise to go into hock to buy a season ticket to the Cell, as near home plate as possible, and spend every game, all nine or more innings, booing.

Another thing: I will contribute to the sensitivity sessions which Mariotti will be forced to attend to cure his exquisite self-absorption. As for why self-a in his case, consider today’s column.