This is lovely about the putative future first husband, Bill, here contrasted with his wife the candidate: Bill
is an oleaginous people pleaser, a cross between Franklin Roosevelt and the guy looking for a free drink at the end of the bar.
Jonah Goldberg could have stopped right there. We would have known what he meant. However, for people not like us, he added:
If he sidles up to someone who loves Tito Puente, he’ll be quick to say, “Oh, I’ve been listening to him for years!” If he meets someone who hates Tito Puente, he’ll shed a single tear and bite his lip that he just couldn’t get Puente’s albums banned, because of that awful Republican-controlled Congress. And sometimes he’ll please both parties simultaneously. To paraphrase Yogi Berra, when Bill comes to a fork in the road, he takes it. But in his eagerness, you can sometimes catch the duplicity.
I give him an A-minus, which is not bad from a former Jesuit English teacher.