Alphabet neurosis: Mary Mitchell has a letter for it

I can’t stand what Mary M. writes, so she’s my special M-word. Protestants too. Can’t stand ‘em. They’re my P-word. Quite a few Catholics too; I’m working on words for them. Shakespeare, kick in the rear, happy new year; don’t like him. He’s my S-word. Anything to satisfy my neuroses.

T-word for Tribune, except on Sundays; once a week is enough. NYT-word, of course. Complicated? Yes, but it’s not easy being neurotic. Ask Monk on TV. Years ago I heard “big C” for cancer, a word best left unused at the time. We got over that. Now we even have a society named after it.

Back to M-word (as above), who wants blacks to stop using the N-word. M-word frets about B people using the N-word while indulging her bilious resentment of that W woman, the D-woman, you know the one I mean, who “copped” (M-word’s word) to using the N-word 20 years ago, giving heavy occasion for group neurosis to vent spleen, forcing many W people to upchuck on their good suits. M-word frets and resents and that’s her idea of a fun time. Yuck!

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