Tales of the Vatican — novel titles currently reverberating in the teeming brain of this blogger

Get the Whistle-blower is one.  Or Let My Financial Criminals Go.

Others: The Pope and His Italian Cardinals: This Curia Ain’t Ready for Reform or Gunfight at the IOR Corral(Vatican bank) or the same at APSA (Vatican treasury and general accounting department), each handling Euros by the freight-car load with little accounting to anyone.

There should be a chapter called “Battle of the cardinals,” in which one of them has the monarch’s ear in the vintage Italian way, the other (Anglo-Saxon) does not. The latter, appointed to clean things up, asks repeatedly that the other be fired for proven malfeasance. But this fellow dines regularly with the monarch. Not to give the plot away, but who do you think is winning that one?

Other possible chapters:

* “The Cry of the Curia: We don’t need no stinkin’ Secretariat of the Economy” (set up early in this papacy to fix it all, alas).

* “Calcagno si, Vallejo no,” in which perp cardinal thrives, whistle-blowing monsignor goes to (Vatican) jail. For ratting.

The novel would find its material, much more than here adumbrated, complete with voluminous sources, in Dictator Pope, by the shrewd, pseudonymous Marcantonio Colonna.

For which there isthis boisterous pitch on Amazon:

Marcantonio Colonna’s The Dictator Pope has rocked Rome and the entire Catholic Church with its portrait of an authoritarian, manipulative, and politically partisan pontiff. Occupying a privileged perch in Rome during the tumultuous first years of Francis’s pontificate, Colonna was privy to the shock, dismay, and even panic that the reckless new pope engendered in the Church’s most loyal and judicious leaders.

The Dictator Pope discloses that Father Mario Bergoglio (the future Pope Francis) was so unsuited for ecclesiastical leadership that the head of his own Jesuit order tried to prevent his appointment as a bishop in Argentina. Behind the benign smile of the ‘people’s pope’ Colonna reveals a ruthless autocrat aggressively asserting the powers of the papacy in pursuit of a radical agenda.”

Soon to be a major motion picture, as Abby Hoffman called his bio? I doubt it, but things do happen.

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