What my friend Jake told the cold-caller who began by asking, “How you doin’ today?”

“My hemorrhoids are acting up, otherwise I’m OK. And you?” (Jake kissed the h-word goodbye ages ago, but the caller didn’t know that and never will.)

Jake, no relation, by the way, is a throwback to old pre-digital Blithe Spirit days, about which more later. Ditto Jake.

Later: A less sardonic reply, which Jake did not supply, would be, to being asked how you are doing, “About to feel much better, thank you.”

Look, I tell you what Jake says but want to be helpful on my own, OK?

10 Major FBI Scandals on Comey’s Watch :: Grabien News

​The first three named:​

1. Before he bombed the Boston Marathon, the FBI interviewed Tamerlan Tsarnaev but let him go. Russia sent the Obama Administration a second warning, but the FBI opted against investigating him again.
2. Shortly after the NSA scandal exploded in 2013, the FBI was exposed conducting its own data mining on innocent Americans; the agency, Bloomberg reported, retains that material for decades (even if no wrongdoing is found).
3. The FBI had possession of emails sent by Nidal Hasan saying he wanted to kill his fellow soldiers to protect the Taliban — but didn’t intervene, leading many critics to argue the tragedy that resulted in the death of 31 Americans at Fort Hood could have been prevented.

Etc.

His was a firing waiting to happen.​